When I woke up the next morning, I felt like I had just gotten off a roller coaster. Not the kind that made you sick and wanting to lay down, but the kind that made you feel exhilarated and ready for more adventure.   After all, I was getting a free first-class trip to my sister's wedding. I also had my months' hard work stored away in my suitcase.

     However, there was one thing that was bothering me. I still didn't know much about this Lance guy who was marrying my sister, other than the few details I got from my sister on the phone.

      If I am honest, I didn't know much about my step-siblings either. This wasn't a source of anxiety, however. I was actually looking forward to learning more about my extended family. I was to stay at my step-brother Ricks's house during the wedding. It seemed as tho I was one of the only step-siblings to end up in Chicago. It also seemed  I was finally getting the large family I wanted. However, there still seemed to be one issue.

      It's not my family

    Marriage, I won't lie to you. The idea of having a man around to at least help pay the bills was very... Intriguing. However, I couldn't dream about it much. "Life goes on" as they say, and life in California certainly did that. At the publishing office, I was beginning to make a name for myself as an extremely dependent employee. 

      That is when I didn't spend the days daydreaming about clothing and princes.

      I had on more than one occasion thought about how I could make a career there. It seemed beyond me, but I did find myself thinking now and then, about becoming a journalist or photographer. I had brought a few of the magazines from the office with me to read. Doing so I found myself reliving these thoughts. 

      I wouldn't have taken the picture like that... I probably would have used another descriptor than that word... The front cover could use a bit more pizazz.

      These thoughts and more came to mind as I read through the various articles and pictures of  the following week's release. Mostly I was trying to calm my nerves a bit.

      I had yet to meet this man who was to steal my sister away, and was nervous to meet an entire family I didn't know. I knew he came from an upper-middle-class family, and the groom had an elder brother and sister. There was a younger brother as well, but apparently, he was off in Vietnam fighting and was rarely heard from. My sister told me he was a bit of a "wild child", a greaser if you will. Of course, she only heard stories. I was not looking forward to meeting any of them. You must remember I grew up in the 50's and 60's. Where family heritage meant something and  I had very little to boast about.

      It was likely that I would be shunned as soon as they saw me.

      That's the spirit, Lynne. Put yourself down before you've even had a chance to prove your worth.

      As the plane landed I realized I hadn't been in this part of the country in a while.
  I was back in the Midwest. Milwaukee Wisconsin, of all places. I stepped out of the boarding area and into the main lounge, when all of a sudden I heard

       "Lynne, over here". I looked up. There was my unexpected welcome party. My sister, and to my surprise, 4 men. I recognized my older stepbrother Rick from the few times I met him as a teen. I was quite glad to see him, and then 2 tall lanky young men. Along with a very average-looking man in a dress shirt and pants.  My sister hugged me and very excitedly introduced me to her future husband. "This is Lance" she said. Beaming as she said it. He was well over 6 feet tall and lanky. He looked me up and down as if learning everything about me in those few seconds. I could tell he was untamed but really intelligent at the same time. My sister then told me he was an up-and-coming entrepreneur, and something about him made me feel she wasn't wrong.

      "Hello Lynne", came a surprisingly booming voice from the thin man named Lance. He wasn't as well dressed as the man I identified as average-looking, but he definitely seemed to be the kind of person who kept things clean and orderly. His jeans and shirt were spotless and fit his body perfectly. He wasn't handsome per se, but very well put together. The average-looking man was next. My sister was very pleased to introduce him.
 "This is Roger", she said. Her face getting red as she said.

      "How do you do", he extended a slightly sweaty hand. I shook it. He didn't say anything as he waited.

      What you have to remember is I had just spent a year living in the city of beautiful people where shyness wasn't exactly rewarded.

       I was instantly bored of Roger. Even though in the brief seconds of silence my sister mentioned that 
 "Roger works in a bank, and is very single".

     "What you kids have to remember is that in the 60's any kind of stable office job that had room for promotion was a good gig."           Roger would have no problem finding a wife. In that moment I severely hoped it wouldn't be me. I wanted excitement. I wanted an adventure. I wanted a Prince Charming.

      "Kids I look back at this moment and  I must say. Be careful of what you wish for. The next few moments would decide the rest of my life, and I had no clue just what a roller coaster of a life it would be. I was lucky, but some aren't as such."
       In those silent moments, I looked around. While I walked up to my greeting party. I had noticed. One of the men was quite tall. He had to be 6 and a half feet. Where originally I thought he was a bit skinny. I, upon closer inspection, realized that his arms and legs were long and thin but well-muscled all the same. Like a rod iron. Long but sturdy. I found myself looking for this man as I tried to avoid Roger's nervous gaze.
 "Where had he gone"? I wondered how such a large person could disappear. Then I saw him. Towering over three women. Smiling at them with more radiance than the sun in a tight tank top and jeans. I instantly hated all three of the women. The man named Lance called out. 
 "John boi. The girls been eying you for at least a minute". The man turned and looked back at us. Was it me or was the room getting larger? No, I was getting smaller. I didn't know much about physics but I briefly recalled some law saying that matter couldn't be destroyed. So how was the room getting smaller?

      The man didn't look perturbed at all, and said goodbye to the girls. I noticed they put a piece of paper in his hands and giggled. He began walking over. Physics aside I decided I was indeed getting smaller. This man was huge, and not to mention tan. He walked with ease but also with a bit of tension. Like at any minute he was prepared for a fight.

      In only a few long strides he reached us and held out his hand.
 "The names' John". Said the man. In an even deeper voice than his elder brother's. 
 "Lynne". I squeaked out. I screamed at myself to say something cool. Interesting, anything to keep the man's smile from disappearing. I had the feeling that if his smile disappeared then the whole world would freeze.

      "Umm, Im from California, well I moved there anyway. You see my parents are drunks and broke to boot". I began rambling. I told myself to stop, but that only made it worse. "I work for a magazine". No that wasn't good enough. Was the room getting hotter, and smaller?  Why was everything happening in slow motion? Someone needed to get Sir Isaac Newton, and Albert Einstein on the line because clearly, some force of nature was screwing up the Laws of Physics.

      My heart was beating faster. "Oh've heard of this before". I thought to myself, my panic started to fade as I realized the perfectly logical reason for my sudden symptoms...

       I'm having a heart attack. 
      My anxiety began to fade as the perfectly logical reason set it. Then I had the horrible realization that if I died. The man would certainly have cause to lose his smile. I made up my mind then and there. I couldn't die just yet.

      "Breathe, breathe girl. You can do this. Just get through this conversation and maybe just maybe you'll be able to live long enough to see your sister get married."

       A whole 5 minutes went by. Man the guy could talk, and I knew right then and there. I'd be more than happy to listen to him do so for the rest of my life.

      I have no real recollection of what he said. I managed to stave off a heartbeat of 250 beats per minute. It seemed as though I was capable of calming myself to a mild 185 beats per minute. We ended up getting in Lance's car. It was older but well-maintained. The average-looking man. What was his name? Roger, sat in the back next to me. His heartbeat seemed to be in the mid 3-400's. I could tell because he was actually sweating. The man who had my full attention rode shotgun, and my completely oblivious step sister rode on my other side in the back. Rick had his own car and led us to his house. 

      I stepped out of the car. Feeling as though a crushing weight had been lifted off of me. Strangely enough my life instantly felt lonely without that prescence. I was both relieved to be free of the pressure but felt oddly content in it's presence. At one point of the car ride I had made an attempt to make conversation. I asked if John had a car of his own.

      That sure got him going. He indeed was a bit of a greaser. He maneuvered so that he could pull his wallet out of his pocket while sitting down.  He then removed a picture of him and his dad standing next to what he called "Good oL American Muscle." I had heard of muscle cars before but didn't know much about them. In Chicago, you mostly walked everywhere, and in my area of California, everyone took the rail car.

        I looked at the picture. The man's dad was nearly as tall as him.

      "The whole family is a bunch of Sky Scrapers". The thought crossed my mind as I simultaneously realized I would most likely be doing a lot of looking up at people during the wedding.

      "That there is a 1970 Ford Torino Cobra. 429 cubic inches of Powa." He dropped the ER ending of the word and grunted out the ending. He seemed immensely proud of the automobile. Enough so that my blank stare didn't seem to deter his enthusiasm. All I knew about cars was that they were pricey, cost a lot of gas money to run, and were expensive to repair. Did I mention they weren't cheap?

      In a moment the man got ahold of himself. He turned back into the charismatic person I could tell he was. His incongruous outburst over. He began talking to his brother. I could tell he wasn't being rude. He seemed to be the type of person that would fill in the silence with his interests if no one else bothered saying anything.

      "All I have to do is talk and Im sure he'll respond to me."

The problem was that I couldn't think of anything to say. I noticed Roger was in the same boat I was in. Though I couldn't figure out why. 

      Am I all that intimidating?

        I could see where some of the tanned hotties at the beach, or even some of the high school cheerleaders at Michigan High. May make a guy nervous, but I failed to see how I would be capable of such. He squeezed in a comment here and there, but he was out of his league, competing with John for my attention, and he knew it.

     I looked at him feeling sorry for him, but after all.

      I had my own problems.

      After my failed attempt at conversation. John and Lance began talking about the current state of the country and the war effort in Vietnam. This was one of the first times I had ever been a part of this kind of conversation. Sure I didn't say anything, and I was pretty sure that the two men forgot I was there, but it was exhilarating all the same.

      I really am becoming an adult.

      I began running through all the words I could think of pertaining to that beast of a topic I had no interest in "The Economy". After all, why pay attention to something when you accounted for such a small part of it?

      Mutual Funds, Stocks, Investments, Corporations, Interests Rates, The US Treasury...

       It turned out I knew more than I expected. This kind of thinking was something I was prone to. I did relatively well in school but didn't have much time or energy for studying. During the majority of my adolescence. I did all of the cleaning, worked a nearly full-time job, and did well, almost everything else. I took more care of my parents than they ever had of me. Making sure they got up for whatever jobs they could hold, and retrieving them from the bars in the middle of the night to make sure they wouldn't cause a scene on their way home.

      That didn't exactly leave a lot of room for the more intellectual aspect of school. I treated my trade school classes with absolute importance, but whether or not I got a B vs an A on an English paper. Never really mattered to me. It simply wasn't important. Most of the "Studying" I did. Came in the form of private contemplation. On subjects I was interested in. 

      Unfortunately this secluded way of thinking. Didn't exactly train a person on how to engage in charismatic conversation. It turns out my intrapersonal communicative style. Didn't exactly cause a proclivity for the kind of social skills that would be necessary to talk to the man in the passenger seat. So I listened. 

      I listened to what he said all the way up until we got to Rick's house. I was so busy "Listening" to his words and definetely not to his deep voice. I didn't notice we had gotten there.

      "Lynne, Earth to Lynne." My elder step-sister snapped her fingers at me in an attempt to break my trance. 

      "OH, um. I guess I'll be going." I put on my best smile and tried to make the most out of exiting the vehicle. Unfortunately, rather than being a graceful exit, it was a clumsy extradition. As I almost immediately tripped on the curb. 

      The Vietnam Soldier was on his feet in an instant. The car door opened before I hit the ground and he grabbed my arm. Effortlessly pulling me to my feet. 

      "Up we go soldier." He smiled as he lightly dusted off my shoulders. 

      "I don't think I'll need a medic, a little R and R, and I should be good as can be Sir." 

      Did I just tell a joke? Oh please let it have been funny.

      The man smiled at me as I did an impromptu Salut. My shoulders held back and my head high as I did. That's right. I was a soldier on a mission, and my CO had just made this man's smile a very important person. It was my duty to keep it glistening for as long as possible. 

      Mission Success.

      This was a serious confidence booster. My sister knowing better kept her mouth shut and let me have my moment. Her husband-to-be wasn't as empathetic.

      "Kiss her or miss her John Boi. We got places to be."Said the, suddenly very, annoying husband to be.

      J ohn looked at me with that wonderful smile.

      "That wouldn't be a very gentlemen thing to do. Would it"? 

      "I guess not," I responded, slightly disappointed. 

       "I'll see you at the wedding." He said as he leaned over to get back into the car. 

      The wedding,

      That's right I had a golden opportunity to see this man again. My hesitation began to fade as hope rekindled. 

      "I'll see ya Lynne," Sue said impishly. Roger murmured a goodbye. Clearly disheartened at the scene that just played in front of him.

      "I'll see you to.... Randy." I almost whispered the words as I said them. Barely mustering a wave. I was still in shock and awe. With one hand as quick as a lynx he grabbed me and pulled me out of thin air. He literally swept me off my feet. 

      Marilyn Monroe, eat your heart out.

      I walked to the house and lay down. I had a lot to contemplate.